... 1. ) hot guy in front of you
.......2.) creepy guy behind you....
I have one more shift (after this one) of graveyard before heading out for ALBQ. I have to admit I have the exciting adrenaline rush, but very little fear... we'll see come time for me to step on stage.
I have had many mess-ups, many backward steps this journey, even today I managed to find a bag of peanut M & M's in my house (probably the husbands ;) ) and had a few bites.... a few separate times... I have been slacking on my water intake as it is currently 2 gallons, however I don't start my "eating and drinking" until later in the evening because of work... unfortunately I also do not get that many "breaks" because I monitor individuals that need my full attention so getting this water down has been hell!
my sodium (or well I am not suppose to have any ) has been there... minimal.... but still there mostly with carb free sugar free energy drinks .... my energy is at an all time low and even straight black coffee doesn't work. (and I know a lot of people will NAY me for that .. )
I know that I need to perfect my eating, but I eat very clean and have been, and at this point in my prep there is not a whole lot that can be done ...no magical workouts, or magical pills that are going to put me in the absolute perfect shape.. HOWEVER .. I know that I worked hard and that I have put in work far more than I will have myself believe.
The reason I am saying all of this is because there for the last few weeks I began seeing myself struggle with food... I do have a history (as I think most girls have at some point)... but when I realized that I wouldn't even allow myself a simple bite of something out of fear (mind you I am super lean) .. that I needed to take a step back and re-evaluate what I was doing... and THAT alone is why it is important to have a coach or a meal plan until you are able to have a routine of your own.
I have been too tired to workout, but manage to continue getting in some jogging, matter of fact.. ran with a trashbag on today (instead of a sauna suit) to help sweat out toxins.... looks super funny but I had it under a T-shirt so no one knew.
I have leaned out and feel confident (maybe that is why I am not too nervous).. but I also know that I may not place... and that is okay.. this is my first go around.. and after competition I will allow myself a few unhealthy meals before getting back into the routine again...and believe me I will be excited to get back into the gym and lift weights, and do less cardio... I have so many plans this next go around.. building a booty,,, getting my abs more defined, as well as work on strengthening my lower back ( I rarely do squats because of my weak back so I am hoping to change that)
I can also say I WILL be getting a coach to help me get the process going!
okay well enough babble tonight..... going to finish homework (gotta love graveyard :) ) ... so I dont have to worry about it this weekend...
will update again .. probably tonight on graveyard hah
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